Final Copy of Speech

Silence can be used strategically & respectfully to enable families to share their own priorities and concerns Susan Epps Counselor with a practice in Wilmington, Delaware.
Just because they are not making eye contact doesn’t mean that they are not engaged in the conversation. Dale G. Leathers chaired the Speech Communication Department from 1988 to 1994 at the University of Georgia
There are at least 6 dif positions that the eye uses when accessing information for thinking or communicating processes.
If the pupils of the eyes are going up and to the right this means that the mind is trying to construct a visual image
If the pupils of the eyes are going up and to the left this means the mind is trying to remember a image
If the pupils of the eyes are at the normal level but going to the right this means the mind is trying to figure out how to put something into words
If the pupils of the eyes are at the normal level but going to the left this means the mind is trying to remember an auditory experience
If the pupils of the eyes are going down and to the right this means the mind is trying to become more aware of the bodys sensations
If the pupils of the eyes are going down and to the left this means the mind is trying to have an internal dialogue to figure something out. Dale G. Leathers chaired the Speech Communication Department from 1988 to 1994 at the University of Georgia



Don’t do nonverbal leakage behaviors Judi James TV expert and author in body language and other communication topics
Def of leakage behaviors: small gestures that show feelings that u aren’t expressing explicity (usually because they have a negative effect on the situation) or make ur words seem false or less true Judi James
If ur(the parents) foot taps when ur teen is talking and this can nonverbally communicate that ur (the parents) impatient and this may cause your teen to be less positive during the rest of the interaction because the teen forms the idea that u (the parents) don’t really care about what they (the teen) is saying u (the parents) just want the teen to agree with you (the parents) at the end of the discussion
U (the parents) glance at ur watch or the clock and this can nonverbally communicate that u (the parents) care more about finishing by a certain time than having a quality discussion with them (ur teen) and this may cause your teen to be less positive during the rest of the interaction because the teen forms the idea that u (the parents) don’t really care about what they (the teen) is saying u (the parents) just want the teen to agree with you (the parents) at the end of the discussion by a certain time
u (the parents) yawn when ur teen is talking and this can nonverbally communicate that u (the parents) are not interested in what they (the teen) are saying and this may cause your teen to be less positive during the rest of the interaction because the teen forms the idea that u (the parents) don’t really care about what they (the teen) is saying u (the parents) just want the teen to agree with you (the parents) at the end of the discussion


How to increase immediacy and show that you are listening
Kim Mueser is a Professor at the Dartmouth Medical School Departments of Psychiatry and Community and Family Medicine and Shirley Glynn who is a Clinical Research Psychologist at the Veterans Affairs Greater Los Angeles Health Care System at West Los Angeles.
As they are talking, produce facial expressions that convey the feeling of the speaker which are consistent with the content of the message Kim Mueser and Shirley Glynn
Wife’s body is oriented (positioned toward) to the speaker, leaning slightly forward, titled the head toward the speaker Kim Mueser and Shirley Glynn
-ur primary focus is the speaker, ur serious about the conversation Kim Mueser and Shirley Glynn
-u respect the speaker, u have interest in the speaker Kim Mueser and Shirley Glynn
Body is relaxed but is not in a slouched position. Kim Mueser and Shirley Glynn When talking the body can be erect.
Don’t do nonverbal behaviors that convey disinterest. ex sigh and roll eyes Kim Mueser and Shirley Glynn

Sitting creates many positive messages nonverbally communicates that: Lynette Long Dr. Lynette Long is a licensed psychologist in Chevy Chase, Maryland
-U have the time to talk Lynette Long
-U have respect for the individual (s) Lynette Long
-U have respect for their need to talk Lynette Long

Everyone in communication have the same size chair Dr. Lynette Long is a licensed psychologist in Chevy Chase, Maryland
Raise eyebrows when u hear something interesting or important that u want to hear more about (Mark Knapp and Judith Hall)
Have ur lips be relaxed not tightly closed or sucked in (Judi James)
Have eyes wide open: Mark L. Knapp Professor of Communication at The University of Texas at Austin &
Judith Hall Professor of Psychology Northeastern University
Have pt pointed toward the person you are talking to: Mark L. Knapp Professor of Communication at The University of Texas at Austin & Judith Hall Professor of Psychology Northeastern University

Be sitting in a way that u have upturned palms and open arms. This can communicate openness and receptiveness. Dr. Lynette Long is a licensed psychologist in Chevy Chase, Maryland
This can communicate that you are sensitive because the palm is at least twice as sensitive as the back of the hand Samy Molcho. This can communicate trust and the willingness to act amicably and cooperatively Samy Molcho. This communicates a willingness to not cover up or hide personal sensitivies’ and feelings Samy Molcho. This is a gesture of free give and take Samy Molcho. This gesture signals readineess to accept counter arguments and can remove the intention of confrontation Samy Molcho. The gesture has a positive spiritual and personal meaning Samy Molcho. For example, it is used in the iconography of saints, is used in motifs of blessing, intercessory prayer and presentation of gifts Samy Molcho.
Use open hand palm gestures w/ palm facing toward the sky preferably instead of finger pointing gestures whenever possible. Samy Molcho.
Have an open posture Ex don’t cross ur arms and legs Jon E. Grahe and Frank J. Bernieri
Have a similar speech pattern in terms of accent tempo speed of response and other things, Teresa Eliot Roberts
Have a warm voice Loris Schiaratura and Françoise Askevis-Leherpeux
Frequently smile if appropriate Loris Schiaratura and Françoise Askevis-Leherpeux

Samy Molcho Do a pyramid with ur hands pg 163 molcho instead of a fist or ur fingers together w/ur fingers pointing out from ur knuckles (porcupine fingers pg 162 molcho)
Porcupine fingers make u seem defensive and can communicate aggression Samy Molcho. (Pyramid hands) can communicate searching for a point of contact or commonality, a balancing of mutual interests and a willingness to come to an agreement Samy Molcho. Samy Molcho A clenched fist usually sends out an aggressive stimulus and signals I am ready to fight for this thing or idea and then the person they are interacting with might think they are never going to accept my idea/thoughts so I’ll just seem like I am agreeing with them and then I’ll do it behind their back. Samy Molcho When someone has a clenched fist, people usually respond to it with aggression consciously or unconsciously and this can result in tension slowly increasing in people to the pt where both people are yelling at each other
Samy Molcho professor at the university of music and performing arts and at Max Reinhardt Seminar in Vienna, Austria until 2004
Use expansive, wide open gestures when appropriate Samy Molcho. This involves moving the upper arms away from the body while having the palm visible Samy Molcho. This will show you are not conceited and dominant and are willing to trust the other people and communicate and exchange information Samy Molcho.
Samy Molcho professor at the university of music and performing arts and at Max Reinhardt Seminar in Vienna, Austria until 2004


If they ask questions, do slight head movements after every question asked Mary Fitzpatrick and Partricia Noller

Have open feet to seem attentive Rosemary Thompson
Don’t have external distractions Lynette Long Dr. Lynette Long is a licensed psychologist in Chevy Chase, Maryland
If someone is paying attention to a distraction they are nonverbally saying (even if you are just biting your nails) I think these distractions are more important than what they are saying Lynette Long
Remove background noise Lynette Long Dr. Lynette Long is a licensed psychologist in Chevy Chase, Maryland
If people don’t have to continually repeat themselves they will feel you are listening more Lynette Long
Be in a small room (these generally make people feel safer) that has a sense of privacy environment Lynette Long
Have nothing that establishes a physical barrier between the people talking because physical barriers impede disclosure Lynette Long

• Olfactics (smell)
Jane Buckle, Registered Nurse, UK certified in clinical aromatherapy
Room effect
The pure essential oil true lavender (augustifolia) can have a calming sedative effect on the amydala of the brain where fear and anger are analyzed by the body.
Synthetic copies of pure essential oils do not have the positive effects that pure essentials oils do.
Personal Effect
Can put a drop of ylan ylang on the skin and this can relax your nerves


• Artifacts (Objects) and Environment

Plants
Position in corners of room David Kennedy
Odd # of them David Kennedy
Rounded leaves instead of long pointed leaves David Kennedy
Avoid dagger-like plants (like cactuses, unless they hold sentimental meaning) because the plants can make people feel like they are symbolically being attacked by the pointed or thorny leaves David Kennedy
Have plants with flowers and/or fruits to make the room the most positive and warm David Kennedy

Lights
Lead faceted crystal spheres or quartz crystals: when sunlight hits these crystal spheres David Kennedy
Prismatic rainbows scatter beautifully throughout the house David Kennedy
Crystals can shift the energy in the room in many ways including: David Kennedy
-adding light, ?expanding the? light and ?creating? new energy David Kennedy
-redirecting energies toward a more beneficial direction David Kennedy
-harmonizing confusing or chaotic flows of energy David Kennedy

Best: 50-millimeter diameters or larger crystal spheres two inches or longer David Kennedy
2nd best: 40-millimeter spheres David Kennedy

Furniture
Position sofas and chairs so nobodys back is facing the door or has their back to the entrance Skye Alexander
-creates an atmosphere of welcoming people into the room Skye Alexander
-prevents people from being afraid of being startled by someone coming up behind them when they are seated Skye Alexander